What do you think of this conversation? In this conversation, iruya_lilyic strongly disagrees with daijapanās statement that she recommends that people over 50 make friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years younger than them for diversity understanding.
Iriuya_lilyic experienced stalking and coercion from older men when she was in college, and because of that trauma, she feels that it is dangerous for older men to approach younger women. daijapanās statement could encourage such behavior, she criticizes.
On the other hand, daijapan stated that she cannot be friends with someone she does not want to be friends with, and claimed that such age difference friendships are common in other countries. For iruya_lilyic, however, the statement is perceived as a threat to young women in Japan.
In my opinion, while age difference friendships cannot be denied in general, there is a risk of abuse of power relationships and harassment when older men unilaterally approach younger women. Especially in Japanese society, there are many situations where women cannot refuse inappropriate behavior from older men. daijapan-san may lack understanding of the vulnerable position such young women are placed in. If you recommend making friends of the opposite sex to deepen understanding of diversity, respecting the intentions of others and building an equal relationship is a prerequisite.
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My first impression before asking Claude was that we both seemed to think the other was "not getting the point" as a result of trying to continue the conversation with our buttons crossed. I was curious how AI would understand it, so I asked it what it thought without telling it what I thought. As a result, I agreed with Claude's point that "there is a lack of understanding of the vulnerable position [[young women are in]]."So let me get this straight.
- The person A who said āMethod X is recommended for understanding diversityā did not understand the diversity of āthe existence of the type of person B who feels uncomfortable with the suggestion.
- Such āattitude of A thinking he/she understands better than the other partyā itself is one of the typical patterns that B dislikes (mansplaining).
- So B is recalling similar unpleasant examples from the past and piling them on top of A. I guess thatās what it means.
The principle on the part of A is
- Person A who remarks, āMethod X is recommended for Objective Pā believes, at least by his own admission, that āMethod Xā is done.
- And A thinks āmany people are not able to do method Xā.
- So weāll send that out.
- In this case, he thinks he is āmaking friends of the opposite sex who are 20 years youngerā and recommends them to āpeople over 50ā.
- The person perceives the relationship as an equal friendship.
- So to the example B gave, āThatās not a friendship, is it?ā And Iām responding.
- And to Bās subsequent statement, āI canāt be friends with someone who doesnāt want to be friends with me.ā
- This response, on Aās part, would be, āI was talking to a certain segment of the population, and someone I wasnāt targeting said something I didnāt understand from the side, the content of the argument is misguided, and it looks like you donāt understand the obvious premise.
I thought it was an interesting case of miscommunicationā¦
Conversation
daijapan The best way to understand diversity after 50 āMake friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years younger than you.ā I think it is.
iruya_lilyic Seriously, stop. When I was in college, I was annoyed by an old man following me around, but I couldnāt say no, so he almost forced me into his car thinking, āOh, Iām going to die today,ā and here I go. That old man also approached me saying, āI know Iām too old for you, but Iād like you to be my friend. Itās just an object of fear.
daijapan Thatās not how friends behave, is it?
iruya_lilyic I have two questions because the statement is not clear.
A, Itās a double negative and hard to understand. The above reply is
- That is how friends behave. ā” That is not the way to behave as a friend. Which is the correct interpretation?
B, Also, who is your āfriendā referring to, me or the old man?
daijapan I canāt be friends with someone I donāt want to be friends with.
iruya_lilyic You didnāt answer my question.
Do you have friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years older than you?
daijapan I guess the older one is 84 years old. At this age, the older one doesnāt matter much anymore.
iruya_lilyic Okay. Then age has a lot to do with being friends until you are that age! Your statement is harmful to older men because it gives them an excuse to approach younger women, and it is not something that can be supported (by younger women).
You donāt have to understand, but please refrain from making statements that increase the threat to young women.
daijapan Isnāt this relatively common overseas? In the first place, itās not very common to be asked your age.
iruya_lilyic I am talking about Japan where I live. The situation abroad is irrelevant.
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