nishio.iconWhat do you think of this conversation? claude.iconIn this conversation, iruya_lilyic strongly disagrees with daijapanā€™s statement that she recommends that people over 50 make friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years younger than them for diversity understanding.

Iriuya_lilyic experienced stalking and coercion from older men when she was in college, and because of that trauma, she feels that it is dangerous for older men to approach younger women. daijapanā€™s statement could encourage such behavior, she criticizes.

On the other hand, daijapan stated that she cannot be friends with someone she does not want to be friends with, and claimed that such age difference friendships are common in other countries. For iruya_lilyic, however, the statement is perceived as a threat to young women in Japan.

In my opinion, while age difference friendships cannot be denied in general, there is a risk of abuse of power relationships and harassment when older men unilaterally approach younger women. Especially in Japanese society, there are many situations where women cannot refuse inappropriate behavior from older men. daijapan-san may lack understanding of the vulnerable position such young women are placed in. If you recommend making friends of the opposite sex to deepen understanding of diversity, respecting the intentions of others and building an equal relationship is a prerequisite.

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nishio.icon My first impression before asking Claude was that we both seemed to think the other was "not getting the point" as a result of trying to continue the conversation with our buttons crossed. I was curious how AI would understand it, so I asked it what it thought without telling it what I thought. As a result, I agreed with Claude's point that "there is a lack of understanding of the vulnerable position [[young women are in]]."

So let me get this straight.

  • The person A who said ā€œMethod X is recommended for understanding diversityā€ did not understand the diversity of ā€œthe existence of the type of person B who feels uncomfortable with the suggestion.
  • Such ā€œattitude of A thinking he/she understands better than the other partyā€ itself is one of the typical patterns that B dislikes (mansplaining).
  • So B is recalling similar unpleasant examples from the past and piling them on top of A. I guess thatā€™s what it means.

The principle on the part of A is

  • Person A who remarks, ā€œMethod X is recommended for Objective Pā€ believes, at least by his own admission, that ā€œMethod Xā€ is done.
    • And A thinks ā€œmany people are not able to do method Xā€.
    • So weā€™ll send that out.
  • In this case, he thinks he is ā€œmaking friends of the opposite sex who are 20 years youngerā€ and recommends them to ā€œpeople over 50ā€.
    • The person perceives the relationship as an equal friendship.
    • So to the example B gave, ā€œThatā€™s not a friendship, is it?ā€ And Iā€™m responding.
    • And to Bā€™s subsequent statement, ā€œI canā€™t be friends with someone who doesnā€™t want to be friends with me.ā€
  • This response, on Aā€™s part, would be, ā€œI was talking to a certain segment of the population, and someone I wasnā€™t targeting said something I didnā€™t understand from the side, the content of the argument is misguided, and it looks like you donā€™t understand the obvious premise.

I thought it was an interesting case of miscommunicationā€¦

Conversation

daijapan The best way to understand diversity after 50 ā€œMake friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years younger than you.ā€ I think it is.

iruya_lilyic Seriously, stop. When I was in college, I was annoyed by an old man following me around, but I couldnā€™t say no, so he almost forced me into his car thinking, ā€œOh, Iā€™m going to die today,ā€ and here I go. That old man also approached me saying, ā€œI know Iā€™m too old for you, but Iā€™d like you to be my friend. Itā€™s just an object of fear.

daijapan Thatā€™s not how friends behave, is it?

iruya_lilyic I have two questions because the statement is not clear.

A, Itā€™s a double negative and hard to understand. The above reply is

  1. That is how friends behave. ā‘” That is not the way to behave as a friend. Which is the correct interpretation?

B, Also, who is your ā€œfriendā€ referring to, me or the old man?

daijapan I canā€™t be friends with someone I donā€™t want to be friends with.

iruya_lilyic You didnā€™t answer my question.

Do you have friends of the opposite sex who are at least 20 years older than you?

daijapan I guess the older one is 84 years old. At this age, the older one doesnā€™t matter much anymore.

iruya_lilyic Okay. Then age has a lot to do with being friends until you are that age! Your statement is harmful to older men because it gives them an excuse to approach younger women, and it is not something that can be supported (by younger women).

You donā€™t have to understand, but please refrain from making statements that increase the threat to young women.

daijapan Isnā€™t this relatively common overseas? In the first place, itā€™s not very common to be asked your age.

iruya_lilyic I am talking about Japan where I live. The situation abroad is irrelevant.


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