Psychology of the Unmotivated

• Psychology of the Unmotivated
• Kato, Giving up.
• Amazon

• He has also been a radio telephone life counseling personality for about 30 years

  • I see, so the platitudes just keep coming.

Hatena2011-06-10

• This book is not a commentary on the causes of human despair, apathy, and oopsiness. It is a book about how people with a tendency toward apathy can get out of it and live well. I am among those who have a tendency to become apathetic.

• This book explains the causes of human apathy and other factors, quoting from Seligman’s paper. It doesn’t clearly describe Seligman’s original experiment.

  • (Well, I guess they decided that if the setting of the experiment or something comes out of nowhere at the beginning of the reading, the general reader will put the book back on the shelf.)
  • If you want to know more, look up “learned helplessness”.
  • Roughly speaking, “a creature that has experienced pain from which it cannot escape will not run away from pain from which it can escape.

• I thought it was dangerous that a person who is really tired of his/her mind might read this book and think, “Oh, that’s why I’m so bad, I’m so useless, I’m so tainted by helplessness, I can’t motivate myself forever, I’m sorry for living” because the original experiment is an experiment. I can’t motivate myself for the rest of my life. I’m sorry I’m alive. The important thing is to be aware that both dogs and humans have a tendency to fall into such a trap, and when you feel unmotivated, look at yourself objectively and say, “Oh, now I am stuck in a feeling of helplessness,” relax your shoulders and try again, thinking, “It may not work, but it might work. You did it! I’m glad I did it! When you succeed, you praise yourself, saying, “I did it!

Leverage memo

• Tired minds assume that what they may or may not be able to do is a definite no-no.

• Curiously, only those who don’t do what they can, stick with it forever.

• People who do what they can are self-reliant. People who do nothing when they know they can’t do something are very client-oriented.

  • I’m hoping that someone will eventually figure it out - or maybe I’ll get lucky and something will happen to resolve it.

• “Of course not” people pretend that they are the ones who know what’s going on.

  • But that word only describes the person’s apathy.

  • pretends he knows more about the world than others to rationalize his own inability.

  • However, it is like professing to be passive and requesting, and as a result, being apathetic about oneself.

• People who don’t act begin to emphasize the pointlessness of taking action… “Of course not” is a good excuse for not taking action.

• Push yourself to be uncertain about the future.

  • They lament that they are dissatisfied and unhappy without taking any action to improve their own lives.

  • They had their chance. But they did not act.

  • It is an inner problem and apathy that prevents us from taking advantage of opportunities.

  • The difference between a person who is apathetic and a person who acts is the difference between giving up on possibilities and not giving up.

• A good performer can act and give up when it doesn’t work or when the possibility is gone.

  • Apathetic people do nothing, say “It’s bound to fail” and never accept the results.

• hopelessness: mice given inescapable shocks became lethargic and did not escape when given escapable shocks.

  • People who have given up cannot understand that an opportunity has arrived.

  • I can’t see the opportunity even if it is there.

• Professor Langer has come up with the concept of mindfulness. Mindlessness is the inability to see things from only one perspective, and mindfulness is the ability to come up with all kinds of things without being bound by categories.

  • We leave too many things undone that we could do. We give up on not being able to do it just because we haven’t come up with the means.

  • The venture managers I am familiar with are able to solve problems in unexpected ways and propose solutions that I would never have thought of.
  • Ellen Langer - Mindfulness does not require meditation.

According to Seligman, children learn to believe in their own abilities when they solve their own frustrations. It gives them confidence that they can do it.

• It may not be limited to children.

“I paid a high tuition fee. This is when it seems as if people have cheated you out of your money. Some people do not fight to recover their losses. They assume that they will lose even if they fight even before they fight. They waste their precious lives in regrets, lamenting their losses. The “I paid a high tuition fee” is merely an attempt by those who cannot overcome their failures to make their failures worthwhile by interpreting them.

“It’s too late now” Unlike when you were a student, once you become a member of society, you will be pressed for time, and situations will arise in which you will have to act without being adequately prepared. You can’t do a proper job if you get psychologically confused at such times.

• Earache.

Elite salarymen are often described as hiyouwa. They lose motivation at the slightest failure. They feel depressed and say, “I can’t do it anymore,” even though it is a failure that they can recover from. They lose motivation at the slightest handicap. They lack the spirit to overcome their handicaps.

Sour grapes. Sweet lemons. It is painful to admit failure as failure, and when a person tries to denigrate the successes of others, a feeling of helplessness arises deep within him that his life is no longer in his control!

Where do feelings of self-esteem come from? Seligman says that it comes not from what you have, but from the experience that your actions change the world. Having money is not the only way to have feelings of self-respect. On the contrary, that is why people buy luxurious cars and go to expensive restaurants to turn away from the feeling of self-worthlessness. We can see their frustration in their attitude of flaunting luxury.

• Experiences that change the world through their actions. - Ideas that can change the world.

Seligman says that good things that happen independently of one’s reactions create a sense of helplessness. It does not promise happiness in life. Sometimes, therefore, we lose confidence.

If someone has never made a wrong decision in his life, he has simply never made one himself.

Children with high self-esteem have clear standards of judgment. Some people in the world use vague criteria to measure themselves and others, such as “he is small in scale. Such people have low feelings of self-esteem.

A couple who lived in a big house and kept complaining. Why didn’t they sell their house and move to a smaller house? Because they were afraid of change. The story of a businessman who bought a house and became neurotic, caught between paying off the loan and the fear of being fired. Why? Because he worried unnecessarily. I worry, but I don’t prepare for when I get fired. Don’t worry.

The norm of “should” or “the feeling of looking bigger than you actually are” makes the situation unmanageable. Because they clung to their ideal ego of being active in a foreign country, they became neurotic because they were crushed by the demands of others, which they could not meet. People who live happily with their challenges are not so afraid of failing in their challenges. They are not afraid that failure will hurt their ideal ego. They are not afraid of being disappointed for not doing what they were asked to do. People who have a hard time living with challenges and stress are dying to be disappointed by others.

• the gap between who you are now and who your ideal self is.

Bhaskaria “When one’s mind is sick, one’s choices become limited” and one sticks to one way, so the situation becomes unmanageable and stressful, making one’s mind even sicker.

When parents demand a lot, children always feel like they are being demanded by others even when they grow up. So meeting people becomes a daunting task.

People with a sense of inferiority make assumptions about themselves and others. They assume that people do not like them because they are flawed. They assume that people are insecure without checking carefully.

Desperation destroys a person’s other abilities. If a kindergartner is given a solvable task and rewarded for correct answers, or if he is rewarded irrespective of response. The latter then learns the slowest when given a solvable task. slower than the group that did nothing. When kindergartners were given solvable and nonsolvable problems by different teachers and then given a solvable problem by the teacher who gave the nonsolvable problem they could not solve the problem.

They believe that as they get older, their abilities diminish. That sense of helplessness makes them lose their abilities.

Karen Hornai says, Self-despised people compulsively seek honor.

I want someone to tell me I’m “great” because I lack self-confidence. And then, when they act like they’re great, they are looked down upon. Even when someone says “great” to you and your self-esteem rises, someone pokes a hole in it and crushes the balloon that is about to deflate.

If I don’t like myself, how can I be confident? A man who is confident as a man does not feel a sense of urgency that he must be liked by this woman. A man who lacks self-confidence will feel anxious that he must be liked. If he is not liked, he exacerbates his self-doubt. He will resort to insecure tension, bluffing, and flaunting his masculinity. As a result, he is not able to show his good side in front of the woman. People hate you for trying to be liked. People are disliked because they try to be respected and boast about their faults. If you are natural, people will like you even if you have faults.

Inferiority. Because of fear of others, what they have looks wonderful and what they have looks boring.

mindlessness. narrowing one’s way of life and one’s possibilities by making assumptions about one’s own potential.

People who judge themselves tend to judge others as well. There are people who make themselves conform to such assumptions: “You’re happy,” “You’re kind,” “You’re not having a hard time. Some people are troubled because they cannot say, “I am not like that. Their goal in life is to meet the expectations of others. Those who do not feel annoyed by having their ideal image imposed on them are those who have low self-esteem.

[According to Karen Hornai there are three types of anxiety coping. One of them is pandering. It is the self-annihilation type. This type of coping results in a person becoming hopelessness. A person who panders can only pander. They cannot be aggressive. They cannot withdraw.

There are those who hurry not because they have a reason to hurry, but because they are driven by anxiety and fear, consumed by daily life. There are those who do nothing but are exhausted. Not knowing what they are rushing toward is not what they are rushing toward. They are just trying to escape from the status quo.

People’s dissatisfaction is proportional to their degree of passivity. When we do various projects, participants are usually highly dissatisfied in order of passivity.

• There is.

Students exposed to inescapable noise vs. no noise vs. inescapable noise, hopelessness also delays the resolution of non-hateful tasks. An inescapable aversive experience makes the student less active even in non aversive daily tasks.

• This is frightening. For example, when there are people in the home who do nasty things that are impossible to escape, it’s easy to assume that even if you’re studying in school, you’re not good enough if you fail a little bit. I guess helplessness is a disease that can eat away at your whole life.

Giving up reinforces a sense of helplessness.

The more people who don’t act, the more they like to speculate and argue. They argue to a surprising degree. They guess at what the other person is trying to do. Because they only guess without taking confirmatory action, they speculate to such an extent that they start thinking behind the scenes. They complicate simple things by guessing.

Unlike rats, if humans remain frustrated, the misfortune of others who seem to be living a joyful life becomes their joy in life. Envy others, and it becomes your pleasure to make others unhappy.

• There are some. For example, there are many on 2chan.

When you find yourself frustrated, don’t forget to make an effort to break free. Don’t assume that you can’t change. Sometimes you can try and you can’t, but sometimes you can.

They say they are dissatisfied with the teachers, dissatisfied with the school. When asked what they are dissatisfied with, they cannot answer. People who express such dissatisfaction do not take any action to solve the problem.

• So the dissatisfaction remains ambiguous and continues unresolved for a long time.

The dog, hit by an inescapable electric shock, gets off the competition immediately.

Build your own foundation. It is to stop ignoring or overworking one’s body. You can’t run fast, about where you are afraid. Accept it. Starting from “this is how it should be” is stressful. You think that when you achieve the “should,” you will be liberated. But that “should” is an unrealistic standard.

• Even if you think you have set a realistic standard, once you reach that point, you see further and think, “I should be able to do that too. There will never come a time when you feel you have achieved it.

We are struggling with something much closer to home, but we avoid facing it discussing the state under heaven. That’s why we can never overcome our sense of hopelessness. It is hard to love one’s neighbor, but it is easy to love mankind. I despair of mankind” is a reflection of “I am disappointed in me.

You demand high standards from others because you repress disappointment in yourself. You’re trying to resolve your own emotional conflicts by finding what you’ve repressed in others and blaming them for it.

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