Suppose Mr. A did X and Mr. B didn’t like it. If Mr. B cannot say, “I don’t like X and I want you to stop,” he may say, “X is not a good thing for the reason that Y.” In other words, Mr. B is not what he is saying and what he is asking for.
If he does not realize this, Mr. A interprets Mr. B’s assertion as “B thinks that ‘X is a bad thing because of Y.‘” As a result, Mr. A
- Do X thinking, “It doesn’t matter if I do X when it’s not Y.”
- I object, “Wouldn’t it be appropriate to stop doing X for the purpose of avoiding Y?”
- I counter, “If the goal is to avoid Y, doesn’t that mean we need to stop Z as well?” They can act in such ways as
Mr. B feels as if his feelings have been trampled upon when Mr. A acts as described above, because he believes that Mr. A has understood his intention to ask him to stop.
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