Memo 20180204.

• First of all, the basic premise is that there are people in the world who say NO to everything.

• Next, those who are blessed to have grown up without meeting such people, surrounded by people who affirm them, are surprised when they are told NO for the first time.

• Then, they try to understand why they are saying no, or they assume that they are saying no based on a misunderstanding, and they assume that if they explain it properly, they will understand, and they incur the cost of explanation.

• But that is just an observation of a previously unobservable phenomenon, not something that can be eliminated with a lot of effort.

• It is necessary to regard the fact that “there are people in the world who deny themselves,” not as a denial of one’s own personality, but as a mere fact, a mere natural phenomenon (phenomena).

• Conversely, some people have grown up receiving negative messages. They tend to block communication because communicating with others has been learned in a negative way. They tend to build walls.

• When these people meet someone who comes over the wall and says positive things about them, they overestimate their value.

• It is possible that the person is a good person, but in many cases it is someone who has learned that “it is easy to befriend a wallflower if you approach him in a friendly manner.

  • The only way to bring evaluation closer to normal is to increase the number of evaluators.

• On the issue of whether to hide or disclose ideas when doing some kind of project.

• If the hurdle is coming up with the idea, it is better to hide it. If the hurdle is putting the idea into practice after coming up with it, it is necessary to disclose it as soon as possible, gather collaborators, learn from their feedback, and increase the speed of improvement.

• However, immediately after coming up with the idea, it is agnostic whether execution is a hurdle

• I think it boils down to, “Forget the nonsense, just get on with it.”

• If you think you can run to the goal by yourself, then you should run quickly, and if you don’t think you can run, then you should ask for help.

• A disease that tries to do everything by itself because it hates the state of dependence on others.

• Better than staying in a state of dependence (is it really better? I’ll have to dig deeper and think about it, but I’ll hold off for now), but isolating yourself because you don’t want to be dependent.

• The state of being in an equal and productive relationship with another person is one in which both parties gain from maintaining the relationship with the other, so they lose when the relationship is severed. This appears to be the same as dependence from one side’s perspective.

• The difference is when you look at the system as a whole. You need to be able to look at the system from a bird’s eye view to understand the differences.

• I also tend to take on tasks alone, so I have to remind myself…

• I think the step from dependence to independence is a transition from thinking of oneself as incompetent to thinking of oneself as competent. It is a recovery of self-assurance. Therefore, it is difficult to let go of the self-assurance you have gained and think, “It is better to depend on me than to do it myself.

• What should we do?

• Do we need to transition from a state of one type of self-affirmation to multiple states? By doing so, we can let go of some of it and leave it to others, while making contributions to others in the areas we leave behind, and maintain a sense that we are not an “unwanted child” as a whole and that we have a place in the world

• First divide the self-affirmation, and then do something to increase that affirmation about one thing. With the extra strength of that affirmation, guide them to let go of another affirmation.

• I think it is better to start from a place of “encouragement” and “affirmation” no matter what you do.

• A list of questions was shared, and one of them was “my coworkers don’t attend study groups” Should I start with affirmation of this as well?

  • Since study meetings are a means to knowledge acquisition, you may read books instead of attending study meetings, or you may work on your own subprojects. Don’t confuse the ends with the means. Even if you don’t participate in study meetings, if you are acquiring knowledge in other ways, you should affirm that.

• The problem is that it’s a case of doing nothing at all.

• They do not have the belief that learning will improve their future. So they are not willing to invest their time in the future.

• This is an investment decision, so ultimately the right answer can only be known by the test of time.

• Agnostic about whether learning will improve the future, or whether learning will not improve the future at all and will only cause loss of time for entertainment.

• I have no stake in which stance the reader chooses, so it doesn’t matter either way.

• Teachings that are beneficial to learn

• After the meeting, it was concluded that people with low self-esteem must be given free and unconditional approval by getting them married or forming a commune of some kind.

• I thought that a commune that gives self-affirmation in writing is a religion.

• In other words, we can create a “beneficial-where-you-learn doctrine” and give them a sense of self-affirmation (oblique conclusion).

• A good teacher ignites a fire in a student’s heart.

• This is another encouragement to cause action

• Learning is good teaching” praises learning, but it must praise even if you can’t learn. Otherwise, it is not an unconditional commitment. Facebook

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