- Amazon
- Kato, Giving up.
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I encourage people to do three things when they are anxious. (1) Tell yourself, “The facts are not the hard part. (2) “What if others were involved in a similar situation?” (2) Think, “What if others were involved in a similar situation? (3) Think about what you fear the most. Surprisingly, you will often find that the situation is not a big deal.
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It didn’t feel like there were 40 clues, but it was an explanation of what anxiety is, citing various references.
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People are insecure when their value is threatened.
- People are anxious about being abandoned because we are all lonely.
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“Humans differ greatly in their ability to handle crisis situations when encountered. “Rollo May, “The Anthropology of Anxiety.”
- So striving to improve that processing capacity is important for life.
- People who are afraid of anxiety avoid opportunities to test their strength.
- Avoiding opportunities for creativity from themselves.
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There are two types of anxiety: realistic anxiety and neurotic anxiety. Unreasoned anxiety or fear, sense of anxiety.
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When you are anxious, it is important to identify the cause of your anxiety.
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“A solely results-oriented attitude often robs life of its joy.”Ellen Langer.
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Karen Hornai lists “pandering,” “attack,” and “withdrawal” as three ways to escape anxiety.
- Pandering makes people less confident in their own worth.
- Pandering is roughly defined as the following three things
- １： submissive 、 discretion
- 2: work hard, serious, try to excel.
- 3: Forced to act cheerful.
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Children have anxiety about being abandoned by their parents. Hence, they play the good child.
- As a result, the child becomes anxious about life itself.
- The threat of “be good or I won’t love you.”
- For children, it is indeed a threat. You as an adult need not be intimidated by it.
- Interpersonal relationships in adulthood are built up in the life of the infant and repeated in later life” Fromm-Reichman “The pathology of human relationships.”
- Erich Fromm.’s idea.
- People become anxious when they lose their primary bond and cannot gain a secondary bond.
- The primary bond is the sense of oneness with the mother that existed before individuation.
- In the process of individualization, they become physically and mentally stronger, but on the other hand, their loneliness increases.
- I don’t feel my role or the meaning of life anymore.
- Feelings of helplessness and insignificance grow.
- The impulse to throw away individuality and run away from solitude is obedience. Erich Fromm, “Escape from Freedom”, p. 44-45
- Obedience does not solve problems.
- Obedience is not the same as obedience. An obedient person can communicate with others.
- Obedience is not communicating by conforming to the other person.
- Those who pander want to be seen as nice. But in many cases, they are taken lightly.
- “You can’t be happy because you make sacrifices.”Tatarkevich.
- Children raised by parents with strong neurotic tendencies perceive that their surroundings are forcing them to be obedient even as adults. Even though the other person is not demanding obedience.
- Why do you feel threatened by the world?
- Because my parents expected me to be different and I tried to live up to them.
- A basic sense of security that they are accepted by their parents as they are.
- A sense of insecurity that if you say “no,” they will throw you away.
- The world is not a threat to you as an adult.
- You just feel threatened on your own.
- I tell myself, “I’m not afraid of the world around me.”
- Seriousness and work ethic are desirable. But for what purpose? Is it an escape from reality from insecurity or the pursuit of a goal?
- Fear of failure.
- What happens when they fail?
- I can’t live up to people’s expectations.”
- This is highly stressful for obedient people who have lived by meeting people’s expectations since childhood.
- Isn’t a happy person someone who looks like they are working hard from the side, even though they don’t think they are?
- Effort motivated by love and effort motivated by a sense of inferiority are completely different.
- It is the effort motivated by love that brings victory.
- When you work hard with a goal, you don’t work too hard.
- People who work hard because of anxiety are always tense and easily tired.
- People who have support in their hearts are not afraid of any changes in their surroundings. Those without it are vulnerable to difficulties and changes.
- I don’t know how to deal with people other than being serious. That’s why I can’t communicate.
- I made an effort, but it was not an effort for me to live.
- It was an effort to meet the expectations of others. And those expectations were too great compared to my abilities.
- Reconstruction of values is important.
- There are many cunning people in this world.
- He is a genius at scenting out insecure people.
- Flattery.
- Will he help me when I burn myself out?
- It’s better to be alone than to be pampered by cunning people.
- Anyone who accuses you of trying to self-realization when you are trying to self-realization is a bad person.
- A person who exploits others. A person who takes away power.
- Cut down.
- People with poor mental and physical health need to sort out their relationships or they will get stuck.
- Cut out those who do not do anything specific for you, but only offer a few words of pleasantries.
- Drop the mask of forcing yourself to act cheerful.
- Cheerfulness is sometimes just a mask to cover up insecurity.
- They say things like, “Why a bright kid who committed suicide?” Why?” and so on. Wasn’t brightness a way to hide her insecurities?
- Try to stop doing something (such as attacking another person) and you will become anxious, which will show that the anxiety was the reason for the behavior.
- If you want to essentially quell anxiety, you need to be able to communicate.
- Ultimately, your life is your responsibility.
- With that in mind, I think about my life from many angles.
- When you leave life to others, you pander to them.
- If you don’t believe that “your life is your responsibility,” you are quick to fall for the advice of others.
- You have to judge for yourself.
- 90% of seniors believe they may have dementia, but medical statistics show that 4% of seniors over age 64 have severe dementia and 10% have mild dementia
- People have various anxieties.
- But are you prepared?
- Are you researching to gain detailed knowledge about your concerns?
- They have desires, but they do not want to make the effort to realize them.
- And I don’t recognize myself as such.
- They resent me for saying, “Why don’t you just make an effort?”
- What he is looking for is someone who will be with him and say, “Oh no!
- It is only when you are energetic that you want specific advice.
- The idea to actually take action.
- The next best thing is to do the best you can do.
- obsessed with the best solution and taking the worst without being able to do the next best thing.
- For example, it’s best to sleep and wake up healthy, but if that’s not possible, the next best thing is to take sleeping pills to sleep.
- And yet, he adamantly refuses, and as a result, he can’t sleep and gets sick.
- What is the purpose?
- Humans are not supermen.
- Realistic solutions, not idealistic pursuits.
- Those who are in a hurry can’t do the next best thing either.
- Ideally, we would accomplish what we thought we wanted one after another, but in reality, that is not always possible.
- Superman Obsessive Compulsive Syndrome.
- If you are trying to contribute to society by becoming Superman, you are not in a hurry if you can’t. You are in a hurry because you are trying to resolve a conflict in your mind.
- The next best thing is to “do what you can. You can’t do what you can’t do.
- When I am troubled, I tell myself, “My brain is just poisoned right now.
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